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He Falls In Love With Your Essence




So many of us see a dashing man and set out immediately to capture him - without knowing much more of his virtues, interests or intentions. We begin to preen, strut and stride to make ourselves as magnificent as possible in the hopes that he will notice us and take the express-lane to being a cozy coupling - when he's barely even looked our way.

The thing is, the Right one always sees us - even when he's shy. He senses us before we even walk into a room and then he cannot take his eyes away. That is the way all Yin and Yang energy works in nature: the Masculine intiates, whilst the Feminine cultivates and completes. If it weren't so, then we would be the ones shooting sperm and the male would carry the baby to term.

However without understanding this, a man's affections that are unreciprocated are taken as a sign of our diminished value. We take it personally and think there's something wrong with us.

But since when do we so righteously assume that every man must madly fall in love with us - or else? Do we faithfully like every single flower that is out there? Indeed, whilst they're all delightful, we have a predisposition to our favourite, be it the sensuous rose, regal tulip or loyal sunflower.

So too, the flower merchant of a man is drawn to your Essence above all else - in an often unexplainable attraction. Remember the teenagers in American Beauty? As Mena Suvari's glamorous Angela pouts and saunters her way through the film, Ricky Fitts can't tear his eyes (or camera) away from the 'plain' Jane.

That is how men fall in love - with the unspoken parts of you... your energy, your way, your aura... and it's entirely independent of your looks, status or temperament. Sure, he may still date you or even have a relationship with you... but he'll never fall in love.

So the lesson is... don't bother pining for men who aren't feelin' your vibe. You won't make him change his mind about you, let alone fall in love with you - much like you can't convince a die hard chocolate ice-cream fan to switch to lemon sorbet. He either likes your flavour or he doesn't - and you're no less yummy for it, ok? Sure, there will still be tough days in your relationship, but I assure you that this strong foundation of him adoring you (and you delighting in that!) will keep you together and unified through the challenges and complexities of your journey together. So, stop figuring out how to 'get' a man. Don't do an inventory of his exs' to see what his 'type' is; don't change the way you are in any way - to appear 'softer', more 'classy' or more 'adventurous'.

Also stop also showing up where he'll be looking 'fabulous', with an agenda (read - hope) that he will notice you and you'll live happily ever after (you're a knock-out already! Like he didn't notice...) x

Remember, there is a fabulous man just around the corner - hundreds of them in fact - that will loose themselves at the mere adorable sight of you trying to clean up spilt ice-cream when no one is watching.... and that's the type of man you want.

If you have a comment or a query to share, or a question to ask, please post below or email me on alina@alinabcoaching.com

Much love,

Alina xx

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