From Stress to Sisterhood
iendship between women is a funny and complicated thing.
Layered with sensitivities and unspoken agreements, it can be a breeding ground for bitchiness and confusion as much as a supportive mirror for our greatest selves.
What is friendship about for you?
Perhaps you see your girls regularly to have a laugh and discuss all matters at hand. You have a great time together and wouldn’t trade them for the world.
It may also be that sometimes a girlfriend or two really annoy you. Of course, you likely say nothing as it’s not worth the fight. 'A lot safer to 'vent' to the others!'
And this is where the break-down in Sisterhood begins.
For every time you utter a word against your girlfriend... resentment awakens in you. Every time she does that 'thing' you dislike... it poisons you further. As she unknowingly continues her actions, you build up a mental case against her until you quietly hate her guts.
Eventually, your annoyance may hit a peak and - after too many wines, you let her have it. And you likely feel entitled - after all, she's in the 'wrong'!
A draining and strung out discussion ensues, with your shocked friend being none the wiser about your frustration and various other members of your group forced to uncomfortably 'take sides'. After much hysteria, the whole thing blows over and is laughed off as a 'silly fight'... until next time.
As juvenile as this scenario may sound, this is an all-too-common construct for resolving arguments. Whether the all-girl playground or 'cut-throat' dating pool, we are sometimes so accustomed to bitchiness as the norm that we seldom ponder the alternative.
Well ladies, here it is:
What if you knew, with every fibre of your being, that your girls had your back. They never tired of singing your praises and made you feel like a Goddess who could fly. And if you did ever goof up, they would come to you first without workshopping it with a million others. You knew they would never speak a word against you and be your greatest cheerleaders - in private and in public.
Well, this is how my group of carefully chosen girlfriends finally makes me feel. I didn’t think it was possible for women to behave in this way to eachother – but nothing makes me feel more blessed. Simply, I choose to no longer have negativity around me and I invite you to do the same.
Begin with this:
If a girlfriend is bugging you, either let it go or tell her - but the most toxic thing you can seriously do is bitch. I swear it just comes back to you.
Every time you bitch, compete, or backstab... you are undermining yourself and all of the Feminine.
Cut your friend some slack. If it's bugging you, that quality is probably in you too. Take a deep breath and look within - often by taking responsibility yourself, the 'problem' dissapears.
If she is genuinely being difficult - simply and nicely tell her. That is what a friend is actually supposed to do - help us become a better person. If you can't share how you feel with a friend, then who the heck are you hanging out with?!
Sometimes, we do grow apart. That is natural. Be honest about your reasons for continuing a friendship. Sometimes it is not necessary to lose a friend... just readjust their proximity. Remember, you are the average of your 5 best friends. Surround yourself with the people whom you wanna be like. You don't owe anyone anything if they make you feel like shit.
Conduct your friendships in a loving and noble way. Be a Queen, not a fishwife.
We're so much cooler when we pool together. The Feminine expands - the more beautiful you find her, the more gorgeous you become yourself.
And couldn’t the world get a little more gorgeous?