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The reason your dates may not be working out

Updated: Oct 20, 2023




A big part of my work is helping women how to relearn how to date.


And usually, we have to remember what a healthy connection look like.


So I'm here to remind you that you can have everything that you deserve and desire.

You may find this hard to believe, but the one who loves you will feel empowered to meet what your heart sings for just to see the smile on your face.


Loving, divine relationships can be passionate and exciting, as much as they are soothing, stable and safe.

And it starts with being OK to ask for what you want.


Women's needs have been made the problem for so long, when in fact, our desires are incredibly powerful. As women, we have been made to doubt our bodies, our emotions, our 'market value' or attractiveness, when our sexual essence is in fact the most irresistible force in the world. When a woman get reconnected to her inner energy, she never again will forget that it's her glowing light... even if it dims beneath her earthly pains and responsibilities.


She has a more refined sense of who she is... beyond her looks, age, cooking skills or career status. It's a self-assurance that acts like a force that magnetises people to her, like a warm, radiant sun. It is only when we're disconnected from this energy that we start to think that it's our looks, or how toned our bodies look or anything else external that gives us value. A woman in her power has let go of the lies that society has told her about herself, and who she should be to be loveable and worthy.


She has tapped into the emotional wisdom that transmutes old, stuck emotions... and has engaged her heart intelligence to metabolise the past. Emotional alchemy turns blocked energy into life force... restoring our vitality. We literally glow from within. It is only from this new clean slate that I recommend starting to make new connections.

When we rediscover love from a more radiant inner foundation, after we've done the emotional healing, and the healing to our self-esteem, the internal 'red flag' and 'green flag' system you've upheld can change.


The 'red flag' that we thought was neglect or abandonment turns out that the person you are getting to know simply has a healthy attachment style. They're not avoiding you, but simply busy living their life. Similarly, the 'green flag' we so gingerly thought was clear interest in us, we now can interpret as a classic case of love bombing.


Maintain it can mean a regular practice that fortifies the connection to our own self confidence.


We start to own how we feel, what we want and desire.

We finally release the past and feel excited to make new romantic connections.

We honour ourselves and uphold our boundaries. We feel our intuition.

We speak up more to the people we date about our needs and expectations, rather expecting them to mind-read.

It can mean seeing the reverence or lesson in every connection, even if it's not a forever one, even if it doesn't go to plan.

But most certainly, it will mean using the heart and the sensual intuition as a cohesive guide for who you like, who you love, who lights you up and who you're drawn to. Finally, it can feel like a new thing to follow the hunches or instincts of our bodies, when in the past it was the mind that directed us to what's 'appropriate', desirable or safe. Often, that means your true love is different to what you thought it would look like. It may not be what your ego imagined. It will be a whole lot better, but you have to be ready for it, to let it in. But to have all this... do you have to be perfect to fall in love? Do you have to be whole? No, I don't think so. You just have to be yourself and like yourself. Remember that what happened to you made you who you are, and added colour, calibre and texture to you story. What happened in the past may have been hurtful, but never personal. That your light remains alive within even now. No matter what stage you are in life, you are always in a season where you are worthy, you're sacred and you deserve love.


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